I realized that I was channeling my efforts into too many things. Not getting one thing finished, before starting something else. And so I thought about what I really wanted to do most. And the thing I want to do most is write about how to overcome depression.
Depression is a strange thing. It’s a feeling and a physical distress, and a tragedy of the soul. I woke up this morning just feeling a bit off. I don’t really know what it was, just a feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was watching too much TV the night before. Or reading about other people’s lives who seem to have it all together.
Or maybe it’s financial worries. Not being able to pay the mortgage…not having enough money saved for retirement. It was vague. A vague feeling of not being settled. But here’s the thing I did that I am rather proud of. I got up anyway. It was a Sunday morning, and I needn’t have gotten up. I wasn’t working that day. I could have pleaded a headache and stayed in bed. Except I know depression by now. I know its character. It loves to stay in bed. It loves to wallow in itself. It loves to go down, down, down. And I do not allow it to have the upper hand any more. So like I said, I got up.
I got showered and dressed and went downstairs. The family was all there. We had breakfast. But I was feisty. Everyone knew it. They commented on it. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” Because I also know that depression really wants to talk about itself. And I don’t want to discuss it because then it becomes real. So I gardened.
Yes, I went into the garden with my gardening gloves on and began pulling weeds.
There is something wonderful about being in the garden. Whether I am watering plants in a planter, pulling weeds, planting bulbs or snipping an unruly tree…it helps me channel back to what is important in my life. Writing. I love to write.
Not that it is easy. To make myself sit and write. It never seems to be the right time, or the right place; so I just make the time. It’s now 11:31 p.m., and the house is asleep. Here I am channeling my efforts into something I love to do. If I had not gotten out of bed this morning I would not be here this evening with you.
Depression is a force that can be channeled into something huge and dark and foreboding; or I can choose to channel my energy into something wonderful and joyful and exciting. Gardening, writing, having breakfast with family; they may seem small and ordinary things, but to a thing like depression they are enormous. They squeeze the very life out of it…and what is left is real life. Ordinary and real. Joyful and awesome.
Today my friend, channel your energy into something that you enjoy. You already know what it is. You don’t have to think about it. You know what you enjoy….so just go do it. It will be something ordinary and seemingly small; but to the dark and dismal spirit of depression it is a warrior that will defeat the mysterious hold that depression seems to have and leave you clear and free to live the life that you have always dreamed of.